Saturday, 24 August 2013

RetroFix - Some Unabashed Retro-Geekdom

Let's take a three-hour tour into some unabashed Retro-geekdom, as we address an age-old question hotly debated amongst serious geeks everywhere:

Ginger or Mary Ann?

Now, some of you young'uns out there might be scratching your fuzzless, pimply chins; what the *$&*%  is RR talking about and who's the dweeb in the stupid white cap? To spare the wiser, more seasoned, and more cultured of my readers the effort of extensive elaborations, I suggest that if you don't know, then go Google it, then come back here and pick up where you left off....

...OK, then. Now, assuming we're all on the same page, let's get down to serious business. Retrospankos like myself were riveted to the boob tube when reruns of Gilligan's Island were on. Nothing could separate me from the sight of  Mary Ann in those tight little shorts, or Ginger in one of her form-hugging dresses. If I had to make a choice, which one would I rather find myself taking a butt-bruising from? 

And therein lies the conundrum that has befuddled spankokind since the show first aired.

So let's consider the matter in more depth. Ginger was tall and statuesque and had a redhead's hot temper... 

Those long arms of hers translate into a wider arc to her swing and therefore more sting....

Not to mention a very inviting lap...

And then there's the fuzzy sweater effect....

But I digress. The tropics were far too hot for such things as fuzzy sweaters. So let's not let this thing get silly. This might be a good time to check in with our resident expert on what his insights are on Ginger's attributes....

Hmm. Couldn't have put it better myself.

Now let us consider the advantages of  being punished by our other female castaway. Mary Ann might be much shorter, but good things come in small packages. She has a terrific figure, and is more willing to display more of it than her rival...

Ah, dear, sweet, innocent little Mary Ann. But don't be fooled by her easy, ubiquitous smile. She's a farm girl and probably knows her way around a woodshed. And she can give an unruly native a right proper finger wagging lecture when he steps out of line...

 And all that work growing up on the farm would imbue a strength to those sun-kissed shoulders that would easily compensate for Ginger's wider swing. Any good spanko knows you don't get a farm girl angry unless you're sure you can handle the consequences.

Perhaps if the castaways had built a woodshed and had Mary Ann cut a few sturdy bamboo switches for whenever Gilligan f***ed up their rescues, they might have gotten off the island much sooner. I'm just saying....

What do you think of that idea, little buddy?

Well said. As for me, though, I'm at a loss to make a choice here. Mayhap our expert could suggest a solution?

Hmm. Smarter than he looks.


  1. Mary Ann would be my choice, just the down home girl, one your mother would be proud to have as a daughter in law. I also feel she is good at insuring you don't get out of line, he lap is the right size and as you stated good things come in small packages.

  2. How about being spanked by Ginger, and spanking Mary Ann .....?

  3. As punishment for your (my!) lascivious reaction to Ginger and Mary Ann, Mrs. Howell would take us back to her hut (where Thurston is already standing in the corner with his pants down and bottom red--once the series had gone to color) and truly thrash some respect into us.

    1. ha-ha, she can try! She looked pretty frail to me.

      Mind you, it was assumptions like that one which first earned me my nickname....

  4. I still remember all the words to the theme song of "Gilligan's Island". It was a favorite show of my youth. I can't recall wanting to be spanked by either one of them but I WAS attracted to both. I preferred Mary Ann because of her "girl-next-door" appeal. She seemed a lot more achievable than the "mooovie staaar" Ginger. More fun too.

    I've read a lot of comments on other sites regarding who spanked MA and Ginger (and even Mrs. Howell) and whether Gilligan or the Skipper or the Professor would prefer to spank both or either. Not much question of either of the girls spanking any of the guys (there was some comment about Mrs. Howell spanking Ginger for flirting with Thurston).

    Now that I think about it, Mary Ann's the one I'd prefer. Not only is she from a more appropriate cultural milieau, she's probably got more experience with naughty boys (and girls) growing up in a large family. She also seems more likely to give hugs and forgiveness after and wipe your tears and blow your nose and give you a cuddle afterwards... ;-)

    1. Good points. I'm more of a Mary Ann fan, myself. Ginger was always trying a little too hard.

    2. You've hit the nail on the head about MA's positives. I always thought of Ginger (the character) as self-centered and a bit mean. She'd be more likely to beat than to spank and you'd have little chance of a consoling snuggle afterward.

  5. Thanks for posting. I have thought a lot about this. A lot!

    But Ginger flirts with Gilligan, which angers Mary Ann. Gilligan lies about it. Mary Ann then spanks Gilligan, then puts in in the corner. Ginger tells Gilligan that he deserved it. Mary Ann then spanks Ginger's beautiful big bottom, after overpowering her with her farm girl muscles.

    Mary Ann spanks Gilligan again and makes him perform cunnilingus with a very jealous Ginger watching.

  6. Ginger, her size, and she seems more dominant. I always like Maryann otherwise. never thought about it this way. I bet Ginger can swing a mean bamboo cane... gee, where would she find that?

  7. Ahh I'm a child of the 60s and often pondered the wonders of being spanked by either of these wonderful ladies. I also in my older years thought how fun it might be to have them over my own knee. Ahh the joys of being a switch.

  8. I was always a Mary Ann person when discussing sexual preferences. Ginger was always too Hollywood glam for my tastes. When it comes to spanking, I would have to stick with Mary Ann. Although her personality is maybe too nice for this topic, I could imagine her reverting to her country girl a good lecture...then taking a bad boy out behind the shed for a taste of the switch.

  9. I think I'd be in the spank Mary Ann and be spanked by Ginger camp.

  10. Ya'll are wonderful for investing your energy and creativity into imagining these scenarios :)