Practising Her Profession

Just knowing there are actually women out there who make a living - or at least a good portion of one - thrashing, strapping, and paddling deserving and needy backsides re-kindles my childhood sense of wonder about the world.

 Bless you all, dear ladies - and thank you for teaching us those lessons best learned the hard way.

Back to School

 

She may look kindly, but rumor has it she keeps a paddle in her desk drawer, and a tawse in the cloakroom... 

There's no uncertainty about these teachers, however - they know exactly how to 'educate' misbehaving students:

Saturday Smackdown

HAPPY LABOR DAY WEEKEND!

RetroFix - Some Unabashed Retro-Geekdom

Let's take a three-hour tour into some unabashed Retro-geekdom, as we address an age-old question hotly debated amongst serious geeks everywhere:

Ginger or Mary Ann?

Now, some of you young'uns out there might be scratching your fuzzless, pimply chins; what the *$&*%  is RR talking about and who's the dweeb in the stupid white cap? To spare the wiser, more seasoned, and more cultured of my readers the effort of extensive elaborations, I suggest that if you don't know, then go Google it, then come back here and pick up where you left off....

...OK, then. Now, assuming we're all on the same page, let's get down to serious business. Retrospankos like myself were riveted to the boob tube when reruns of Gilligan's Island were on. Nothing could separate me from the sight of  Mary Ann in those tight little shorts, or Ginger in one of her form-hugging dresses. If I had to make a choice, which one would I rather find myself taking a butt-bruising from? 

And therein lies the conundrum that has befuddled spankokind since the show first aired.

So let's consider the matter in more depth. Ginger was tall and statuesque and had a redhead's hot temper... 

Those long arms of hers translate into a wider arc to her swing and therefore more sting....

Not to mention a very inviting lap...

And then there's the fuzzy sweater effect....

But I digress. The tropics were far too hot for such things as fuzzy sweaters. So let's not let this thing get silly. This might be a good time to check in with our resident expert on what his insights are on Ginger's attributes....

Hmm. Couldn't have put it better myself.

Now let us consider the advantages of  being punished by our other female castaway. Mary Ann might be much shorter, but good things come in small packages. She has a terrific figure, and is more willing to display more of it than her rival...

Ah, dear, sweet, innocent little Mary Ann. But don't be fooled by her easy, ubiquitous smile. She's a farm girl and probably knows her way around a woodshed. And she can give an unruly native a right proper finger wagging lecture when he steps out of line...

 And all that work growing up on the farm would imbue a strength to those sun-kissed shoulders that would easily compensate for Ginger's wider swing. Any good spanko knows you don't get a farm girl angry unless you're sure you can handle the consequences.

Perhaps if the castaways had built a woodshed and had Mary Ann cut a few sturdy bamboo switches for whenever Gilligan f***ed up their rescues, they might have gotten off the island much sooner. I'm just saying....

What do you think of that idea, little buddy?

Well said. As for me, though, I'm at a loss to make a choice here. Mayhap our expert could suggest a solution?

Hmm. Smarter than he looks.